what a tough deal women get

Xmas is celebrated here too. But really only the santa claus aspect, which is fitting considering all the national languages have no word for please but two imperatives for "give me". But the Senegalese will always give you what they have, even if its the only small glass of tea they brought to the fields with them.

So the first discovery about Senegalese culture I want to relay to you, and the thing that Mr. Paul Gallimore wanted me to tell him about, is the way men and women comport themselves. It is verrrry interesting. The ladies here basically are all homebodies, at least if they are in the village. They wake up to pound millet for breakfast at 5 am, usually the strongest women of the household cook. My host sisters, who are the wives of my brothers, take turns on cooking every two days. The little girls get water by the basin and sweep dirt into dirt while the women cook. It's such a funny thing they do, and I think they think I'm loopy because I don't sweep my sandy back yard. I guess its their form of "lawn maintenance" since there is no grass. It's sort of like those asian sand garderns with rocks and a rake. Except they use this small hand broom made out of dried stalks, and they sweep up loose leaves, candy wrappers, general trash; animal poop, and y know, loose dirt.
When the women aren't cooking, they're taking care of babies. This is a baby baby everywhere kind of place. It's sort of sad also, because their number one health issue is pre natal care and proper nutrition with babies. They especially have issues during the rainy season, when malaria hits. Im sort of scared to be here for that.
And the women, this is is wierdest thing, while they are so strong, and definitely enforce their heirarchy on me at times (as in assuming i cant carry water or wash clothes), they are so non aggressive when it comes to men. My fav sister here, Seynabou, she hasn't seen her husband in 6 months. And while shes usually a real tough cookie she turned into a little girl when he came back, clapping and smiling. And she was telling me how when he met her, down in Casamance on her fathers ship, he said he "wanted" or "liked" or "loved" her - there is only one verb to describe thse three feelings- and that was that, she left her home, a full days journey away to live permanantly in a strange village. And her mom warned her to do everything so that she might stay. She doesnt even know her husbands age, but knows hes nearing 40, she is 22. The women here, even tough they leave home to live with their husbands, they get to go backhome for a year after they have their baby and chill out there all year. Its sort of a form of birth control, I think. I think the women here are scared that if they dont cook tasty enough meals, if they dont make tea and have healthy children for their husbands and so on; theyll get kicked out. Which is what happened with my host dads three other wives.

Ah my host dad. What a guy. He comes rollin into town last week and has loved inspecting my room and the way ive organized things. Im taking it that he just wants to be kind. But this morning Ive packed up all my things and I leave my hut to say good morning before heading out of town, and he says, "Fatou, after you wash your face and get dressed, you must come and greet me every morning" and I said to him "You can do the same!" and tried to pull it off with laughing. But I dont know if Im going to get away with joking around with the elder male of the house. he wasnt there when I greeted everyone first thing in the morning, tough luck! Whos to say he cant take the 6 meter journey to cross the compound and frapp on my door to wish me good morning? hmm?


.I basically avoid men here. Its pretty much impossible to be just friends with any of them. It just doesnt work. They're such predators!- Excuse the cliche, but as a woman here you cant have polite conversation with taxi drivers, postal workers, grocery store clerks, farmers, boys ove the age of 13. This attitude starts young. Before long they start leaning into you, saying that they "have to talk to you about something later". I make sure that later never happens! Its ok though, because its making me focus on working with women. I just wish sometimes that there was way for women to be viewed otherwise... like nuns in the occident. I dont think this concept exists here - you cant be a "holy woman". Women cant even pray in sight of men, and they often dont even go to the mosque for the big prayer days. I wish I could don a habit sometimes just so guys will immediately think I am off limits and here to do serious work. Such as accidently pour kerosene on my garden ( it looks like water!) or build a fence around my tiny 2 by 2 garden out of twigs.

Im not worried, the real work will begin. Ive got a kickin village map ive made and know a lot of people. I am also starting to understand that the womens group here also has some kind of joint bank account which soon Ill hopefully be able to understand why theyre not all using it. I think its an issue of they like the flexibility of having their personal fgardens and their personal incomes rather than sharing... well see. Oh, funny language things. I think my host sisters taught me how to say " Im not a hussy" to the teenage boys, which is helpful. I also said yesterday "I must drool my fence" rather than "I must finish my fence". My sisters got a kick out of that. Im continuing to learn seereer songs and were continuing to have sing a longs when the power goes out.