September 30, 2007. Yesterday, I left the village.

As I’ve gone through the process of leaving my village, the things people say have impressed me.
When I visited the marabout, Ma Ansou Nyiang, to say goodbye, he taught me this lesson; “when you have no riches, life is not easy (‘felee’).” When you have riches, life is not easy. When you are in bad health, life is not easy. When you are in good health, life is not easy. When you have no husband and family, life is not easy. When you have a husband and family, life is not easy. So Muñ (Suck it up).” The idea is that no matter how much material wealth and satisfaction you have, life can still be difficult. So you have to be patient and weather through the tough times, because there will always be tough times.

People shook my left hand when I left, instead of my right. I was wondering why. The first time it happened with Na Khady, and them Na Jen, and then Na Degen, and I gave them all my right hand, not understanding the coincidence. Later when Fap Lamin, Seynabou, Satu and others helped me bring my bags out to the car, they all gave me their left hands and I was too flustered to realize it until fap lamin slowly gave me his left hand and told me “May we see one another again” ( " In madir fa jam"). Then I finally got it. It is a way of expressing a finality, but expressing hope that it be otherwise, that we see one another again.

People often said blessings for me when I visited them these last days. They always began with “Yassam” which means “May” and then generally say “May you go home in peace” , “May you see your mother and father again.” “May you get a nice job and make lots of money” “May you have a husband and children” “May we meet again”. Na Khady always likes to say, “Yassam o ret fo jam, gat fo jam.” (May you go in peace, arrive in peace).

I visited many compounds before leaving, the first of many was Na Ndeye Saxo, an older elegant women who has a beautifully rich way of speaking seereer. She said to me that having a guest begins and ends with a “Roxon” (helping one lift or take off a bag on their head). You help them take their bags off of their head when they arrive, they stay with you and you do your best to take care of them, and then you help them put the bag back on their head when they leave. The idea is that eventually, you will repay them should they come visit or should a relative of theirs come visit.

This sentiment is strong. Everyone asked for my address as I left because they think one day they might arrive in America and be able to call on me for help. I hope that someday some Senegalese person does give me a chance to repay the hospitality by coming to my home.


Now that I’m finished and know I am not returning any time soon, I am waxing nostalgic. I am wondering when I can ever do anything so brave and adventurous again, so meaningful and unique. It was hard, and I am overlooking that now that I get to go home.

I have learned some major life lessons. For one, a person needs to be a strong hard ass in this world not to get swallowed up by it. You need to know what you want and where you are going. You need to be firm in your decisions. Bravery is a quality that will help you get what you want out of life in every aspect. The benefits of trying something you are scared of far outweigh the risks involved. If you’re scared of doing something, you must force yourself to do it. FEARLESS. Adventure brings you happiness.

A second big lesson I’ve learned: No use fretting because things always turn out all right.

A third big lesson: Patience is the virtue that also helps you get what you want out of life. When facing decisions, like career choices, take a step back and say, “wait- just wait.”

A fourth big lesson: Life is short. Don’t waste it by following rules. Enjoy yourself.

A fifth big lesson : People people people make a person happy. Big families, big social networks- a real community is key to happinness.

A sixth big lesson: It's easy to see what other people are doing and follow them. But if you don't watch out, you get used to it and there comes a time when you need to find your spine. When you can't ask, "Well, what are you doing?" When it doesn't matter what they're doing.